The resident DrinkSpiller™ is back at it with The Grayscale Wine Club: Easter Edition. Now I know I’ve been on hiatus for a bit and I have no explanation for that other than pure laziness and the all-encompassing fake excuse of being “busy.” Don’t you fret, each and every one of my ten readers has been in my heart during this time off. With that said, let’s do the damn thing!
We are a short 48 hours away from celebrating Jesus’ extended nap and resurrection. As someone who does not participate in religion (not a h8r, just not my jam) I’m going to blindly assume that the way to celebrate Little Baby J’s immortality is by popping bottles! At the end of the day, Jesus died SO THAT we can sin. He is a true homie and deserves all the champagne showers (on a budget)!
The highly offensive Easter selection for TGSWC is…
ANDRÉ BRUT CHAMPAGNE
Easter seems like the appropriate moment to nurse a cheap ass bottle of bubbly, right?! No….?
Yeah, you’re probably right.
Thankfully I don’t care! The reason I don’t care is because André is CHEAP.AS.HELL. If God didn’t want me to drink some shameful champs, then he wouldn’t have created it in those first seven days! I personally think the most common misconception about champagne is that it has to be expensive to be good. This statement is true if you care about your body, mental health, and overall well-being, but let’s be honest…we mid-twenties-lost-souls really only care about our limited bank accounts which is why André is ALWAYS the perfect choice for your champagne consumption.
André scans in at $5.99. A full bottle of champagne for six damn dollars is unbeatable and unbelievable. I’ve learned in the past that it really is the luck of the draw with cheap wines but alcoholic bubbles for under $10 seems like a win on all counts. Now André isn’t the tastiest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth but it’s certainly not the worst (KEEP THE JOKES TO YOURSELVES, MY MOTHER READS THIS!). Need we remember Our Daily Red, the October TGSWC? We don’t – PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME RELIVE THAT OH MY GAWD.
This is an upgrade by leaps and bounds. The André website describes their champagne as a “dry blend of white wine grapes, resulting in a fruity flavor somewhere between green apples and sweet lemons.” I mean….sure. We’ll go with that and just agree for the sake of agreeing. To me it tastes like I took too big of a gulp and the bubbles are verging on coming out of my nose. Green apples and sweet lemons works too! André actually tastes good (or fine). It’s much sweeter than your pricey champagne, but that’s bearable. It may cause a bit more of a hangover than anyone would like to have, but again…$6. Speaking from personal experience, André is PERFECT for mimosas. It mixes well with orange juice and by the time you stop pouring OJ into that glass, you’re already drunk and WHO CARES AT THAT POINT, AMIRITELADIES?!
Honestly, the thing I appreciate the most about André is that they don’t take themselves too seriously. The André brand knows they are the champion of the poor. They refer to themselves on their own website as “the ultimate every day luxury, and this one won’t break your bank.” PRAISE. PREACH. *OTHER CHURCH SYNONYM* The only thing missing from André is the cork that you can ACTUALLY pop and feel like DJ Khalid or Pitbull. One can’t complain, though, when the bottle is a ripe $6.
André is here to provide exactly what we all want: getting drunk for cheap! If you’re looking for a fun tipsy, a glass or two of this will get you there. If you’re looking to cheers to your recent engagement, it could work but maybe splurge for that moment. André really is the every day luxury. Whenever I have champagne I feel luxurious, no matter the price point. That’s probably because I don’t know any better but ignorance is bliss, y’all!
Pro Tip: Do no mix other alcohols with champagne!! If you’re going to have a champers evening, stick with it. As soon as you introduce a different type of alcohol into the mix you are walking on thin ice that will crack and let you down. Stick to mimosas at mimosa brunch and you’ll be in the clear.
André is The One™ for Easter weekend.
Buy. Chill. Enjoy. Pray.
Happy Easter, my loves!