Night two of the dramatic two night Bachelorette event drops us back in the middle of Kenny and Lee’s 2 on 1 date.
Why is the 2 on 1 date even around anymore? Literally no one ever wins after this date.
Kenny proceeds to curse the shit out of Lee to which he replies, “Jesus loves you Kenny”
Lee gets sent home (fucking duh) but Rach wants a night date with Kenny before giving him a rose.
Kenny’s evening date with Rachel is at her hotel room so maybe every restaurant in town was booked with reservations. Kenny gets the rose and is most likely to be sent home at the next rose ceremony.
I have absolutely said this in previous recaps but honestly who the fuck is Matt and why is he still here?
Tonight, we say goodbye to Josiah and Little Bill, further proving that Rachel is just not that into black guys.
Josiah, in response to going home: “Look I love Alex but he is absolutely in the Soviet Union KGB and I don’t understand why he is here still and I’m not.”
Aaaaand with that bizarre comment, we are off to Denmark!
ONE ON ONE: ERIC
Eric gets the first one on one of the week. He is totally that fuckboy that Rachel doesn’t want to like but just can’t help it.
Eric: “What do you do for fun? Also how many children do you want?” Smooth, Eric.
His date card ask if he is “cOPEN to love” because they are visiting Copenhagen and I think they have said the term cOpen about 45 times in the last 15 minutes.
Despite his weird accent, Eric gets a rose.
On the group date all seven guys (Peter, Adam, Dean, Bryan, Kenny, Alex, and Matt) get to go on a Viking ship with like 25 random other old guys to help them row.
When they get where they are going, they are greeted by Viking Cosplayers. Combined they know maybe 15 words of English.
UGH Alex is my favorite person in like the last three seasons. He slays this Viking look.
SURPRISE SURPRISE Kenny is bleeding from playing Viking, not by Lee. Calling you on your shit ABC.
Omg Fachel why did you choose to wear Uggs on this date. Uggs are for airports only Rach.
During the night portion of the date, I still have no clue who Matt is.
Kenny leaves for no legitimate reason and I’m honestly relieved. Peter (bae) gets the group date rose.
Side note: Peter would be the perfect third member to the McDreamy/McSteamy duo of Grey’s Anatomy.
ONE ON ONE: WILL
Will gets the last one on one and there’s no way he’s getting a rose. Why does Will always drop the hard hitting racial remarks like the fact he only dates white girls?
Will and Rachel casually pop to Sweden for a day, because border hopping is NBD.
One scene and you can tell Will is fucking done for. Rachel asks Will his type and he responds with white girls. Get better, Will.
Another side note, Rachel’s ring game is always on point.
Not much of a surprise, Will gets sent home.
Rachel sends home Alex and this season is officially cancelled. How the fuck is Matt still here? UGH.