Welcome to Argentina-where men in leather jackets is apparently a style, guys are excessively sweaty, and no one actually knows how to pronounce Buenos Aires.
Chris B. Harrison makes a rare pre-rose ceremony appearance to fulfill his actual job description and talk about feelings with JoJo on a park bench in Argentina. This guy lives the life.
At the hotel,
Seth Cohen Wells gets his first one-on-one date and reveals that he still hasn’t kissed JoJo. Wells is so deep into the friend zone there is truly no way he can recover from this.
JoJo arrives to pick up Wells for their first ever date
Luke: “So like, are you guys going to kiss today?”
Wells: *Sweats profusely*
Sadly, we all know where this date is heading before it even begins. The first kiss is about as awkward as when she denied Chad a kiss a few weeks ago, and the friendship vibes are undeniable. Wells gets sent home on his one-on-one date and my bracket crashes and burns. I have never seen a skinny man sweat so much in my life.
Back at the hotel, the group date is announced, leaving Chase and Derek on the omg first time ever second 2-on-1 date of the season. Meanwhile, the guys still dislike Derek for no valid reason.
Poor James Taylor. He just KNOWS he is at the bottom and that all the other guys are significantly hotter than him. Bless his heart, but he is going to realize soon that nice guys actually do finish last. During his one on one time with JoJo, James makes the classic Bachelorette error of attempting to throw Jordan under the bus.
James: “Jordan thought HIS rules in Texas Hold Em were better than my rules in Texas Hold Em. He isn’t even from Texas. ALL HE WANTS IS FAME. He is here for the wrong reasons.”
James is petty AF (we were rooting for you James. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU.)
Meanwhile, JoJo and and Luke are pushing the limits of PG 13/R rated reality TV, all while wearing probably the same Michael Kors leather jacket.
Do people really make out in public like this? Apparently yes, and it qualifies your for a group date rose. 4 for you
Glen Coco Luke!
Chase and Derek embark on the most boring 2-on-1 ever.
Can someone please tell me why Derek is so confident? He literally only has one group date pity rose to his name.
The trio meets up for some three-way Tango dancing and JoJo is dressed like the dancing girl emoji with that red dress. Not feeling it, girl. She recovers with her second dress of the date, and gets to listen to two boring dudes talk about their feelings for her. Talking to Chase about feelings looks about as enjoyable as getting a tooth pulled, yet he somehow pulls off the mighty 2-on-1 date rose.
Do these guys have to call for their own Uber when they get sent home?
Derek: “Ugh why am I crying”-Literally every contestant ever that has watched this show in the past and mocked previous contestants for crying.
JoJo is slaying in this blue dress at the rose ceremony, which is otherwise completely forgettable.
She pulls a quick ratings stunt to make it seem like she is going to cut nice guy James and little man Alex, but in reality she decides to keep them both because she contractually can’t just casually cut it down to 4 when there is still a week before hometowns.
Chris B Harrison is doing the most with his tray of bonus roses. Remind me again why he doesn’t get more screen time?
Anyways, next week we will absolutely be saying goodbye to James and Alex. Even Alex knows they just got pity roses.
You will be missed Wells
Seth Cohen and Derek Jim Halpert.