I am just going to come out and say it. This season of The Bachelorette is getting worse by the episode. I was more interested in catching Pokemon on my couch than paying attention to this snoozefest of an episode. (Ok I paid some attention to it.)
We start off with Alex getting his first one on one time with JoJo in the form of an Argentinian Road Trip. Can you imagine a road trip without a phone and seemingly no radio? I can’t. Which is mostly why this date was so awkward, weird, a waste of damn time, and completely overshadowed by the amazing bus ride with the other guys.
The rest of the guys rapping about Alex being short and drinking Modelo on this bus is the highlight of this episode, only second to the Bachelor in Paradise promo (FINALLY).
Alex is so painfully short that even JoJo is taller than him in heels. His first Instagram #sponsoredpost will absolutely be for shoe lifts. (I wish.) Most likely will actually be flat tummy tea.
It is so glaringly obvious that Alex is gone after this date, yet they torture him as long as they possibly can with that sad
Lord Farquad gaucho outfit.
I’m choosing not to speak of the horse whisperer because it was one of the more uncomfortable things this show has ever done.
We bid farewell to Alex as if we didn’t see that coming two weeks ago. If he makes it to Paradise, I can only hope they throw Alex a bone and cast a few 5′ girls.
Jordan front runner Rodgers has the next one on one and they do some equally bizarre things . They head to a winery, stomp some grapes, and then proceed to drink glasses of chunky ass grape wine that they just juiced with their own bare feet. Vom.
JoJo is picking up whatever the hell Jordan lays down. Although, considering he and everyone else has been using his brothers fame to promote him, it is genuinely LAUGHABLE that he says they have no relationship. Kind of sad IRL but kind of hilarious given the circumstances. ABC is weeping at their missed celebrity hometown appearance. Maybe next season they can find a mysterious and unknown Manning brother.
The group date consists of JoJo, James, Chase, and Robby and it is awkward AF. James was done the moment he put 25 french fries in his mouth.
This date is equivalent to a high school sleepover. Get better, ABC.
I’m confused as to why Robby thinks he is THE front runner. Has he been in the same room as JoJo and Jordan before? Also, his ex GF situation seems so sketch. Weirdly enough he gets the group date rose.
I’m sorry to say I don’t remember a single moment from Luke’s date. It was that forgettable. Also I was busy catching a Bulbasaur on Pokemon Go. #priorities
At the rose ceremony we say farewell to James Taylor. It was like, the nicest break up I have ever seen.
Poor James’ scar hasn’t even healed from two weeks ago before he was out the door. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t use his
lack of Bachelor fame to pimp out his original songs (Looking at you, Carly Waddell.)
Until next week! Xo