My dearest, McDonald’s –
I love you. Plain and simple. Cut and dry. End of story.
McDonald’s has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. A special shout out goes to my parents for introducing me to the wonders of fast food so early on in my life that I genuinely cannot remember a time without it. For me, McDonald’s was never a treat; it was a way of life.
McDonald’s greasy goodness has been there for me at all times of my life. No matter what, I know I can always rely on a 10-Piece-Chicken-McNugget-Meal-Large-Sized-With-A-Coke-And-Two-Hot-Mustard-Dipping-Sauces. I can count on a simple McChicken when I’m in a snacking mood. I can indulge in a creamy milkshake, a perfectly blended McFlurry, or a modest ice cream cone when in need of a quick dessert. And now, with the addition of All Day Breakfast to the menu, I can consume a perfectly round pancake in the middle of the night. If that’s not the definition of selfless love then I don’t know what is.
What are the perfect drunchies and/or hangover cure? McDonald’s. What do I normally end up getting for holidays and birthdays? A Mickey D’s gift card. When I go to summer concerts that allow outside food and beverages to be brought inside the venue, what is my nourishment of choice? Naturally, a 50-Piece Chicken McNugget meal from the Golden Arches. When I got dumped, where did my parents suggest I eat to make myself feel better? Ronald McDonald’s house (PS – it worked). When I sign a lease for a new apartment, how do I celebrate? By rolling through the scenic drive-thru at The Big M. To be completely honest, I can’t think of an inappropriate time to devour some good ole Mickey D’s.
McDonald’s has not only graced the world with some of the most delicious cuisine known to man, but they have also given back in unimaginable ways. I will never forget the 2010 promotion that involved buying a large-sized meal and receiving a free Coca Cola glass in return. Or as I liked to think about it, buy a Coca Cola glass and receive a free large-sized meal in return. Take a look inside my cabinets and you will find that most of my glasses are, you guessed it, Coca Cola glasses purchased at the beautiful McD’s. Altruism at its finest.
Another thing you may not know about Mickey D’s is that their social media team is on fire at all times. I knew I peaked in life when I was woken up at 6am by a Twitter notification from McDonald’s replying to one of my tweets. Keep in mind I didn’t even @ McDonald’s. That means they have a team who solely scour Twitter for McDonald’s mentions for no other reason than to reply and make their customers feel loved. Loved is exactly how I felt bright and early on October 15, 2015 at 6:34am, a day that altered the trajectory of my life forever.
Thank you McDonald’s. Thank you for always being there for me when I needed you most. You are the peanut butter to my jelly (maybe consider adding that to your menu?), the blue in my sky, the water to my Brita, the smile to my face, the best to my friend, the love of my life.
McDonald’s is a part of who I am. Every time I see those luminous golden arches my heart skips a beat and I know everything wrong will be made right.
McDonald’s is my brand. McDonald’s is my #aesthetic. McDonald’s is me.