Dear J is a series in our TGS Sunday Letters. Each Dear J letter is written anonymously by one of our writers. These letters are the things we didn’t say, the things we wish we did and the things that we never will.
It’s been a long time, huh? The last thing I remember saying to you was something harsh. Not mean, not unwarranted, but firm. After begging for months for you to release me, I finally demanded my freedom from you. How dare you try to be in control of me.
But ain’t that always the way? I mean, how typical is that, really? You were a great guy, sure. But even as a great guy, you still thought your opinion or wishes were worth more than mine. Was it just because you were selfish? Immature? So sure you were right? But why couldn’t I be right? Why couldn’t my feelings be right for once?
You once told me you didn’t know how to deal with me and my anxiety. You told me you felt like you were walking on eggshells, trying to make sure you didn’t break me. You called me sensitive. And I was. I am. I always will be.
And I am not sorry for that anymore.
You never broke me.
Just so you know, John, sensitive and strong are not traits that are mutually exclusive.