Another Monday, another incredible episode of BIP3.
Today, we pick up where we left off-Evan interrupting Jamanda’s 4th day of making out in a lame attempt to pursue her.
Josh, sits back and eats an entire pizza, is all of us.
Evan: “Amanda, we should totally explore this”
Amanda: “I don’t even know your name”
Evan: “But we both have kids! And there are no scathing tell all books written about me!”
Evan and Josh have a confrontation about the ole Andi Dorfman tell all book #It’sNotOkay/Evan’s sad attempt to use it against him.
Evan definitely bought this book on Amazon Prime and read it cover to cover to prepare for this moment.
Josh: “That book is a fictional novel. I SAID IT’S FICTIONAL”
Evan: “K well why don’t you sue her for libel”
Sorry Josh but you kinda got told by Evan right there.
Josh: “I pray each night for her. Live. Laugh. Love. It is always the darkest before the dawn. God has a plan”
Evan says Josh is spewing out inspirational quotes and it is the most accurate thing he has said all season. Josh definitely has Quotes.com bookmarked at home on his Macbook Pro.
At the rose ceremony, we say goodbye to both newcomers, Christian and Brandon, and simultaneously forget they have been on 2 seasons now in this franchise. Maybe next summer, boys.
The next day is totally revolved around the arrival of Caila, who’s massive Bachelorette paycheck fell through so she had to resort to the minimum wage equivalent that is Bachelor in Paradise.
Emily (god I love the twins) has a fling with Jared that Caila subsequently swoops.
Takeaways: Boys love Caila, girls do not
Nick: “I wonder what Caila shampoos that beautiful hair with”
Twin: “We should all just STAB CAILA”
Meanwhile #Grace and #Vizzy embark on a double date to none other than a Senor Frogs foam party. This date is fitting for these humans in so many ways.
Side note-can they all stop making out together like this is the 2006 prom limo?
The most bizarre part of this episode is the weird wine date between Sarah, Daniel, Carly and Evan (Cevan-pronounced Kevin).
Evan drinks too much wine and is subsequently surrounded by a mass of producers, Mexican nurses, and his fake girlfriend Carly. If someone called the medic every time I passed out from drinking too much, I would have been kicked off of my insurance years ago.
We end this episode on the most glorious note-the return of Ashley I. We only get a clip, but I can’t wait for a few more episodes worth of this:
God speed, Jared.